Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Growing up.

I had a friend when I was a child. She was called Diary. She was more than a friend. I used to write a lot. Every day. I had some diaries. I wrote for several years, started in 2006 when i was in junior high. Sad thing, for some reason it's over around early January this year.

Sometimes I feel alone.Writing diary is good to release pain. Great for sharing good news too :D Especially when you dont have anyone to spill out things (for some people, it's called friends). After sometime, you can see how much you've grown. I had a great time. I see that I lived my age, good times as minor. Somehow I don't like being older. I can see now why my parents told me to break up with my first ever boyfriend (hahaha). I remember the feeling that day, i think that the world is soo unfair i cried for hours and wake up with goldfish eyes. But looking at them now, i'm glad they did it.

I wrote my diaries so details and I'm amazed at those writings. I love to tell details, even to a diary. I'm that pathetic. The bad moment is when you see a wrinkled page, and you know it's because of tears. I can laugh about it now, but not back then. It feels awful, not because how much he hurts me. It's because to see how stupid I was.
For years, I cannot forgive that person. I think I have, but I hadn't, I just forgot for sometime. Well, growing up means I have to left my baggage. Too heavy and not flexible for future. I learn to forgive. When I do, then I forgot it again.
Years after that, when I don't think about it anymore. Karma works. Twice. From that, I learn that we need to forgive people, keep your will and motivation clear. Karma will take the revenge, after you release forgiveness. For other, and yourself.

Those were good years. Life is changing. And the world sucks me in. I miss writing. I miss doing it everyday. I miss how i cannot sleep before writing, even when i'm super tired. I guess I've grown up a little bit, part of being adult. They don't keep diaries, i guess? Yes, they keep iPhone and and Android. I have summersoul anyway. And I have you, I hope :)

1 comment :